PARA SA PAGBIBIGAY NG WALANG HUMPAY NA LIGAYA

I'm listening to Ultraelectromagmeticjam. Kinikilig ako!

I was about 13 or 14 when I first heard Eraserheads. I admit, it competed in my head with Backstreet Boys and *cough* The Moffatts. But the Eheads proved to be more enduring than any manufactured foreign band or a group of gangly kids with instruments. No one compared to the Eraserheads, in their ubiquity or in their musical genius. No one in his right mind would dare to think he could surpass their level.

Which is why Ultraelectromagneticjam is a highly ambitious undertaking. How would you do justice to an Eheads song? Would you retain the original flavor or make it your own? Would you want to do better than they did? But it's an exciting task as well, and I presume the artists who performed their songs in the album did it in a heartbeat, with honor and perhaps nervousness (which, unfortunately, were evident in some songs).

It was off to a good start with 6 cycle mind's cover of Alapaap. Tama ang timpla. But Paolo's version of Magasin is a TOTAL flop. It sounds so...calculated, unlike the Eheads' spontaneous, light treatment of the song. Paolo sounds so boring. No humor, no irony. What was he thinking? Did he even listen to the Eheads? What were they thinking getting him, anyway? I used to like Paolo, until I had enough of people ripping off other artists' songs. But even for a guy who does that for a living--like Paolo does--well, maybe it's time to change careers.

Len was right, Imago's Spoliarium is splendid. Raw and honest. They knew what they were singing about.

Barbie was alright in Overdrive, but it was obvious that she knew she was doing a cover of Eheads and wanted it to be perfect. And I don't really like South Border's take on With a Smile. Too South Border-ish. Or maybe it's because I love the song and just want it to stay the way it was.

Sugarfree rocks! Sobra. The band to reckon with. So mature and so childish. Galing nila sa Tikman.

Kitchie was too sexy and pa-cute for Ligaya. Not good, because it just doesn't fit the song. Sana ibalik niya yung dati niyang normal na boses. I like Isha's Torpedo, though. Where did this girl come from, anyway?

Orange and Lemons sounds like Orange and Lemons on Huwag Kang Matakot. Hmm, bagay din naman. But I was most surprised at Francis M's treatment of Superproxy. I actually like it, and I hate Francis M, so that says a lot. Pare Ko is more angry than frustrated when Sponge Cola sings it. But that's Sponge Cola, right? Ganda rin ng MYMP version ng Huwag Mo Nang Itanong. I don't like Cueshe's Hard to Believe, sorry. I'm starting to think those fundamentalists' opinions about them have some basis.

Astig yung Alcohol ng Radioactive Sago Project. Their confidence and style is amazingly sexy. Damn.

We've already heard Brownman Revival's version of Maling Akala, so we'll leave it at that. And the reviews were right, Huling El Bimbo was made for Rico J. Puno.

The tribute ends with all of them coming together to sing Para sa Masa. It was brilliant. So heartfelt and genuine; you know all the people singing the song are there because Eheads were a part of their lives. And that is what makes the album so great. It's full of nostalgia, respect and love. It was dedicated to those four guys who made our world more livable when we wanted to hate it, who understood our frustrations and poked fun at daily miseries. And when we sing with them we agree that, hey, everything's gonna be okay.

I love the album, kahit may sablay. It was a risk coming out with a tribute like this in the first place, so hats off to all who participated. The album brings back memories of when we were looking for ourselves and finding something to latch our unspoken desires and hopes onto. A decade after I hesitantly opened my eyes to the Eheads (and consequently Parokya and all good things Pinoy) and became conscious of the possibility and beauty of expression (my then timid soul was previously unaware of this), here I am again, enlivened and hopeful. Indeed, we have come full circle. After all the changes, journeys, and maturity of mind and spirit, we manage to find ourselves at the beginning, right where it all began. We see things differently now, and yet there's a familiar sensation, close to home. Fuzzy feeling (Where's the sunset? Moment ito, shet).

No one will sound exactly like the Eheads. No one would really want to anyway, for fear and respect. But any decent musical artist today will always, always acknowledge Eheads in their own albums. Ultraelectromagneticjam is, by far, the biggest acknowledgement we could give to the greatest contemporary Pinoy band that ever was.


Para sa Masa
Eraserheads

ito ay para sa mga masa
sa lahat ng nawalan ng pag-asa
sa lahat ng aming nakasama
sa lahat ng hirap at pagdurusa
naaalala niyo pa ba
binigyan namin kayo ng ligaya
ilang taon na rin ang lumipas
mga kulay ng mundo ay kumupas
marami na rin ang mga pagbabago
di maiiwasan pagkat tayo ay tao lamang
mapapatawad mo ba ako
kung hindi ko sinunod ang gusto mo
la la la la la la la la. . . . . .
pinilit kong iahon ka
ngunit ayaw mo namang sumama
ito ay para sa mga masa
sa lahat ng binaon ng sistema
sa lahat ng aming nakabarkada
sa lahat ng mahilig sa labsong at drama
sa lahat ng di marunong bumasa
sa lahat ng may problema sa skwela
sa lahat ng fans ni sharon cuneta
sa lahat ng may problema sa pera
sa lahat ng masa
huwag mong hayaang ganito
bigyan ang sarili ng respeto

EH

[] Hooray for me, I submitted my thesis outline yesterday! After a month of thinking, reading, writing and basically sitting on it, I just threw my hands up and gave the damned thing. I hope the admin contacts me soon to let me know who my adviser is. I can't believe I waited a month to pass an outline that I did in one sitting, a day before I passed it. I thought I could work out my entire proposal within the period, but alas, it was a futile attempt. Have to settle for the basics. I try to find consolation in the fact that it's only been a month, and that maybe I'm not as sluggish as I thought I was.

[] Christmas is nearly here. I hate the fact that I can't buy proper gifts for my friends. Sometimes the expression of thoughtfulness really is dictated by one's pockets. Hay. Oh well. That's life, have no right to complain, I'm alive and almost healthy, yadayada.

[] Why is my writing so lifeless?

[] I watched the first two episodes of Etheria and am slightly confused about the family tree of those blasted fairies. Somehow the aunts and uncles look younger than their nieces and nephews. Turns out Asval is one generation ahead of Cassiopea, who I previously thought was the oldest diwata existing in Encantadia. But hey, Dennis Trillo is hot, so it's all good.

In all, kudos to those talented people at GMA. They make a lot of people happy. Yes, even if it is just fantasy. Or maybe because it is fantasy. I will not go into a socio-political commentary about escapism vis-a-vis the real ills of the Filipino society. We all know that. I just wanna say they make good tv, and I congratulate them for making something that's actually worth looking forward to, amid all the Ok Fine Whatever and Kook Ka Lang nonsense.

[] I'm looking forward to seeing mahbebe tonight!

[] I miss Eljay and Che and Rhea and Amie and Marky Mark and Charvoix and Tincup and all the pretty people of Kule. People, hello.

[] Lately, I've been having little blasts from the past. It scares me a little. It's not the actual memories, it's the thinking about them that makes me a bit iffy. I mean, why? What's the point? I thought I was over my habit of dwelling. Maybe I need to be hit in the head.

[] My back hurts from typing. Baboosh.

Meenu's married! I was browsing through friendster in between thesis writing (had to say that so I wouldn't feel guilty). I saw her wedding pictures, and she looks so so SOOOOOOOO beautiful and regal. And they look so happy. I just can't believe she's married. Meenu! My seatmate in second year high school who taught me how to spell my name in Indian. We used to go to her house all the time and watch Kama Sutra (not all the time ;p) when her parents were out. We've lost touch over the years, but she'll always be Meenu. And now, well.

The other day I ran into another high school friend, lower batch. What caught me offguard (and caused me to stare for a second) was that she's pregnant. Eight months to be exact. I forgot to ask, but it might be a girl, because she was definitely "blooming." She, too, seemed pretty happy.

Wow. So many people my age, in my network (not necessarily first degree, but certainly closer than Kevin Bacon), are taking amazing these leaps and bounds. And I'm not just talking marriage and babies. The point is, I think they seem to know what they're doing. They are completely conscious of their choices. There seems to be no limit, and the only way is up and forward, whether it's work or family or both and more. When I was 16 I wondered where I would be in five or ten years. Back then we could only imagine, sometimes we didn't even know what to imagine. But in the haze of the unknown we always thought positive--our grad songs were testament to that. Seven years later here we are. Some of know where they're headed, some don't. But we push on, anyway. Making decisions and staying happy. I have to say I'm a little envious at their ability to be so...adult. Hehe. I mean that in a good way.:D

I read somewhere that there's no such thing as stagnant. Either you're gaining or you're slipping. Whatever the speed (mine is s-l-o-w right now haha), I'd like to believe we're all gaining.

WEEKEND HIGHS/LOWS

I went to the NU Rock Awards for the first time last Friday. I was excited because after all these years of wanting to go, I was finally there. I almost went last year, but there was supposed to be a typhoon. It rained last Friday, too, but I had alcohol and tissue with me--don't ask why--so I was fine. I waited for my tita--supplier of tickets--at the World Trade Center. Then I waited some more for Faw and Groo--the one who actually reminded me that the Awards were coming up when she asked for free tickete. And then waited some more for Ajeet, one of my few male rocker friends and NU DJ wannabe. And then waited a bit more for Mark, who came all the way from the other end of Buendia (wow layo, hehe).

With the cast complete and the free tickets all gone (apologies to other friends, I am at the mercy of my tita. And you didn't ask.), we were all set to rock it out (jeez that was a corny line).

And did we? Hmm, let's see. It started ot alright. Bamboo performed with a bunch of soldiers. Cueshe was booed. There were more than a few dirty fingers in the air when Hale was nominated for an award. All the guys, including my boyfriend, probably had neck injuries trying to catch a glimpse of each sexy girl that walked up the stage. Phoemela Baranda looks sorta attractive naman pala in person. I ran into Shiva and other Scholasticans, which was cool. Luna has red hair now. I kept getting stepped on, and my jacket at one point got kicked around the floor. It was better off than Ajeet's handkerchief, which got all muddy (or was that some other icky substance?)

It was an educational night, for lack of a better term. I can't say it was a blast. Ajeet was the only one shouting woohoo to Orange and Lemons. Okay, okay, so O&L is mainstream and Hale is a "papogi" band. But what were the people there? Are they "pure" rockers? What is that, anyway? Most of the crowd was skater boy-type, to say the least. Just because you like Greyhoundz doesn't make you better than other people. Haha bitter. Nah, di naman masyado. To each his own, right?

There was a guy who emerged out of nowhere (probably just finished guzzling beer at the Red Horse kiosk) and asked me if I was just passing by (the spot where I had been obviously standing still). I said no. And then he said "ako kasi diyan e", and waited for me to take a step back. Why, does the six-square-inch floor space have your name on it in bright red paint?! This is a rock concert, not a movie theater. We don't get Sureseats. If you're gonna get snotty and high school-ish about it, why not ask your friends why they didn't "save" your spot? Push your way to the front for all I care, but don't be self-righteous. I muttered some retort, but stopped myelf before I got entangled in a brawl and shipped out by Security.

Anyway, that was that. We went home tired and slightly more philosophical. Rock does that sometimes.

The next day I watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose. That scene with her lying on the floor like she had just been given the Cruciatius Curse (tama ba spelling?)...scary pare. Buti na lang I went to Mass that afternoon haha.

And yesterday was spent in front of the TV while everyone else was, well, not home. Like they were exacting revenge on me.

Today...today I go back to the reality of my thesis. And thinking about the upcoming SURP Christmas Potluck Shebang (that's what I'll call it from now on).

By the way, I'm typing his entry on my brand new Toshiba Satellite laptop, which I got yesterday evening. What did I say? Ultracool gift to compensate. Nyahahahaha. Thank you, parents!

WITS' END

Universe, I implore you to be nice to me.

It has been nearly a month since I enrolled for what I fervently, fiercely hope to be my last term in graduate school. I took ony one subject: Thesis. This is it.

Man, oh man. To all those who are planning to earn a second or third degree, be forewarned. It's not as much of a breeze as we think it is. Well, for the first two or three semesters, sure. It's a snap, especially when you enjoy what you're doing (and I did). But come thesis time, you realize that it's not like your undergrad research when you can churn out your final draft overnight in the middle of a painful breakup and other social and academic glitches. No sir. This is serious. You do it like it matters--to the academe and the greater community. You think about it like it's going to make an impact on society, positive or negative. And you WANT it to make some impact, in some small, practical, significant way, otherwise it would be utterly pointless to even go through with it. You feel the pressure of wanting to make a concrete contribution to a cause, and not let the hardbound pages gather dust in the back of the library. You don't want it to be a waste of 200 sheets of paper and two bottles of ink.

I feel so strongly about this friggin thesis I think my head is going to pop. I've never been so serious--and helplessly IN DESPAIR--until now. I've never had my personal shortcomings so vividly brandished in front of me (by myself of course. So insecure, damn.). I'm so frustrated, afraid, lost, and yet strangely confident about what I want to happen. My hormones are going berserk.

I think I've picked an unbelievably difficult topic: Housing. It's very interesting, but extremely complicated. I've bumped into strangers in the library who, upon seeing the piles of books on my table, commented that they, too have been working on the same general topic, and have been at it for at least two years, with the end far from sight.

And it now seems to be true after all, that the more you read, the less you know. I have more questions and deadends now than answers.

Maybe I'm overdoing it. Overdoing it? But all I've done is think! And worry! I haven't even a proposal to show off! I spent this first month basically in confusion. What topic? What focus? How do I it? How do I prove my theory/wild guess? What's my conceptual framework (what direction do my stupid arrows go?!?!)? I made a promise to get my MA before I turn 24, how long will this goddam thesis take? And how much of my nonexistent money will I have to spend?

On a positive note, I have been inching my way towards a clearer concept of what really want to do. I've met very helpful people (in government, wow! Harhar) who were very encouraging (sabay sabi ng hija, mahirap ang gagawin mo. Wah. Thanks na rin.). I've got Mark to set my deadlines for me (none of which I've met so far hehe), and other friends that serve as my sounding board.

I will get through this. In the end, we all do (aka As if we have a choice). But the agony...argh.

I hope Santa gives me an ultracool present to compensate.